So my youngest and I were talking today about friends, school, boys…you know..the regular stuff, when she stopped to take a breath. I saw this as my moment to jump in and share with her my thoughts on the subject of friends, in particular this one friend of mine who makes me crazy.
Here I am a 45 year old mom of three great girls of my own who I consider my best friends and of course, the three “grown up” best friends I have as well (perhaps you remember one of them I tell you about, Skittles?). I also have Mr. Wonderful as both hubby and best friend so it would seem that I am set. And yet, there is this one friend of mine who leaves me hanging from the rafters. She is the kind of person that in so many ways I admire in a sort of “Wow! Is she cool!” way and at the same time, who I watch her with my hands in front of my eyes because I am afraid of what might come next. Of course I peak through my fingers because it’s tantalizing and unnerving at the same time. I can’t bear to look away.
You may be wondering why she makes me crazy then, since don’t we all have that kind of silly-assed friend who is bound to get into some sort of mischief along the way? Oh heck, it’s not the mischief that makes me nuts…it’s this hold she seems to have on me. I wonder if she knows she has it. I feel like I am that girl in high school that has met this super, cool, fabulous, funky, wildly fun kid that everyone either wants or wants to be like. She’s artistic, and quirky and pretty and funny and a train wreck. She is surrounded by zillions (or so it seems) and then here I am, watching her from a far. Makes me sound a bit pathetic and a bit more like a stalker huh?
I’ll call her, she’ll be busy. I’ll text….no response…..to the point that it actually bothers me…hurts my feelings if you will. I know, it sounds so stupid. I AM A GROWN UP! I finished that high school bullshit about 27 years ago! (Damn! I’m old too). But here I am thinking about this friend when I hear a PINK song, or when I drive through certain parts of Boston, or go on Facebook and happen to see one of her witty, quirky postings and all those who adore her commenting or liking her post. Funny thing is, she doesn’t live near and I’m not even sure all that we have in common because we met over the summer but I know I just dug her energy then and thought how great it was to have a new friend. It was easy to hang out and laugh at really stupid things and eat all kinds of crappy foods late at night as if we were still in high school.
I realize she has a life. I also realize that this sounds ridiculous. I wonder if the reason it makes me crazy is because she called me her friend and if that somehow set up certain expectations on my part.
So like I said, I was sharing this with youngest one and she said…”Oh, so it’s just like High School.” And I though to myself, well no, but then again… I guess it is. Does she like me? Why doesn’t she call? What’s wrong with me? If I head up her way should I call? Could I call? Why does she call me out of the blue just as I am getting ready to delete her from my list of Facebook friends?
Then I wonder does she have this hold on me because she isn’t one to share her feelings with me? My girls each tell me how they feel, as does their dad. My three lady friends and I end our conversations with “Love You” and mean it. And here, this friend flits in like a beautiful yet elusive butterfly setting down just long enough to leave a smudge of pollen on my nose and then poof! As breezily as she flew in, she is gone again until who knows when. Leaving me with just enough to say of course we are friends, she shared some stories with me, I made her laugh, but not long enough to say how about coffee?
End Note:
So I read this out loud to my youngest and she said it sounded like a Girl Crush. Hmmmmm….but then she also showed me the lyrics and song from Bowling for Soup (below). Either way, I will leave her on my list of Facebook friends a little bit longer and hope that she doesn’t wear the same dress to prom.
BOWLING FOR SOUP LYRICS
"High School Never Ends"
Four years you think for sure That’s all you’ve got to endure
All the total dicks All the stuck up chicks
So superficial, so immature Then when you graduate
You take a look around and you say HEY WAIT This is the same as where I just came from
I thought it was over Aw that’s just great
The whole damn world is just as obsessed With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex,
Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys, Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess
And you still don’t have the right look And you don’t have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends High school never ends
Check out the popular kids You’ll never guess what Jessica did
How did Mary Kate lose all that weight And Katie had a baby so I guess Tom’s straight
And the only thing that matters Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair and the car you drive Doesn’t matter if you’re sixteen or thirty-five
Reese Witherspoon, She’s the prom queen Bill Gates, Captain of the chess team
Jack Black, the clown Brad Pitt, the quarterback I’ve seen it all before I want my money back
The whole damn world is just as obsessed With who’s the best dressed and who’s having sex,
Who’s in the clubs and who’s on the drugs, Who’s throwing up before they digest
And you still don’t have the right look And you don’t have the right friends
And you’re still listen to the same shit you did back then High school never ends
High school never ends
The whole damn world is just as obsessed With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex,
Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys, Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess
And I still don’t have the right look And I still have the same three friends
And I’m pretty much the same as I was back then High school never ends
High school never ends, High school never ends, Here we go again
