Friday, December 3, 2010

John and Martha had dreamed of their new home for what seemed like forever. Instead of the cold drafty place they had shared with Martha's family for so long, they would finally have a warm and cozy home their own with plenty of space for their things and for entertaining. They had moved in at the end of summer, beginning of fall and everything seemed wonderful. They had an easy time moving with the help that Martha's brothers had offered up and the weather had cooperated as the fall was more of an Indian Summer with warm days and very comfortable nights.

They settled into their routines and life was wonderful for this nice couple. They would lay in bed at night and sigh, both voicing their gratitude and joy for such a great find. They lived their little lives in their great big home and proceeded to build their family and LIFE WAS GOOD!

That is, until the day they noticed that the holes in the screens, or doors as they liked to call them, leading into their home were closed up tighter than an nun's....ooops....sorry.

Anyway, they scurried around to the other set of openings errr..holes ...that they had been coming in and out of. Nope..nothing. John looked at Martha and Martha looked at John and started to weep, gently at first until finally giving way to full blown sobs.

"Our children! Our children are in there. It's getting cold and we are here and they are in there...Oh John!" she wailed. John pulled her close to him and she laid her head on his furry chest. Stroking her hair, he assured her that all would be well.

I went up into the attic to retrieve Mr. Wonderful's new garment bag recently purchased for his numerous upcoming business trips. This garment bag was definitely an improvement over the previous one partly because of all the extra compartments for socks, underwear, belts and accessories but also because the last one had been handled by airport gorillas for some time and they had not been that gentle with it. It had fought the good fight but was no longer suitable for travel. Opening the knee wall door, I reached in and pulled out the new bag and with it a couple of half eaten acorns....hmmmmm.....this should have been my first clue...However, it wasn't until I went to open the garment bag up and realized that something had eaten clear through what should have been the zipper area.

Needless to say, traps were immediately bought and put into place loaded with peanut butter crackers and armed to shut quickly. 1 little, 2 little, 3 little squirrels... 4 little, 5 little, 6 little squirrels....7 little, 8 little, 9 little squirrels and then add about 4 more.....

It's important to share with all of you, especailly John and Martha that no squirrels, baby or otherwise, were harmed in the telling of this story. They were captured and removed in a humane fashion with "Hav a Heart" traps and though law does call for them to be exterminated...I didn't "have the heart" to do so, so they were "relocated" as a group to a nice woody area where they all promptly went up the biggest pine tree they saw. I also went ahead and left their new address for their folks to know where they may be reached and a bill for the replacement piece of luggage.

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