Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Weight is Over

Ok...So I've decided. Enough is enough....or actually, in my case...enough is too much. It's time to get down to it and finally lose the 20 pounds that have been following me around for the last year or so. I am not a dieter...never have been, which is kind of funny since I am a rule follower and diets are all about "rules". But so are recipes and I don't follow those "rules" either. Hmm.. I wonder if it's a food thing?

Well, the good news is that once the girls are in school, the two oldest at college in Boston, there will be much less dinner being made and therefore, much less extra that has to be disposed of, eaten by me. Not wanting to be wasteful, I am in fact being waist-full....and hip-full and butt-full.

Also, I will be spending lots of time at the Y. I love those machines. I love the ones in particular that want my whole history and all of my information to let me know that I will be burning around 500 calories per hour...I just have to enter a couple of little facts about ME. My ...ahem...weight.....blood type, credit card number...mother's maiden name...favorite song....astrological sign. Once all this information is entered in....I just have to GO FOR IT!

At the rate I am going, burning 500 calories per hour....I will only have to do this for, let's do the math....70,000 calories....about 140 hours. Each week has 168 hours of which I should be trying to sleep at least 56 hours. This leaves me with 112 hours a week that I need to fit in my motherly duties, homemaker duties, wifely duties, and those miscellaneous odd jobs that happen to just "pop" up here and there. So if conservatively we say I devote....7 hours a day, 7 days a week to being the mom, wife, homemaker, lawn care specialist, chief cook and bottle washer, that leaves me with approximately about 63 hours free to do miscellaneous things like work out, shower, read, visit with friends. It seems reasonable that if I have 63 free hours in a week, 9 hours 7 days a week, I should be able to find the time to go to the gym and get myself in shape. In fact, if I were to multi-task, say, reading WHILE working out, or visiting with friends at the gym.....I should be able to shrink myself to a smaller version of me in about just over two weeks. That's not including if I actually, dare I say it? DIET?! The possibilities are endless....

Ok, nice dream... but how about going back to the cozy place I like to call REALITY. What is more likely to happen is I will walk with my girlfriends each morning for about an hour and ten minutes (about 5 miles) and then I will go to the Y and devote a couple of hours to the amazing machines they have...So, now we are looking at realistically about 3 hours a day, probably 5 days a week. This changes the equation altogether..I believe now I am looking at sometime next Spring to be down to my initial goal weight. That sounds good to me.

I think I'll go eat a donut while I work out the exact figures.

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